Life recently 41, January

At the end of the day all you have is yourself and that has to be good enough.

Like what the fox said in The Little Prince, I let myself be tamed. Before I knew it my life has become inseparable to people and things –worries, complacency, habit, obsessions– these things that bind and mock me. Eventually though you wake up, and realize that none of them was any good for you. They leave you empty and broken. Break free from these invisible shackles. There is nothing more infuriating and maybe a little bit sad than a bird who won't fly away from an open cage. You are strong and whole on your own and happiness is something you create within yourself. You cannot hope to find it elsewhere. It is pointless.

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Naturally as the new year begun, my goal was to regain my independence. It's tough the first few times. Like my knowledge of it belongs to someone else or to a time so far back. Just sitting alone in a coffee shop book at hand, eating alone in a diner blaring a well run playlist, or walking around aimlessly with my camera. Times I cherish the most these days.

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I reluctantly went to our company party. haha I can be antisocial at times (a large crowd scare me and my attention span is sure to fizzle out faster than ice cream melting). Still I want to commend myself for the amount of socializing I did this January. *clap* *clap*

Reading The Bell Jar while waiting. I love the name of the event, Eternal Equinox. Well chosen title, yeah?! Music festival style. Crystals and Fire.

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On one of my walks, I found myself on the steps of the Vargas Museum. There were two exhibits: A picture book in space and Another Scale by Bencab.

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Never lose yourself. Don't let anyone tame you.

Life recently 40, December

Perhaps spurned on by the end of 2015, I spent the last days of the year on intense introspection, in deep thought of days past and ahead of me. I realized if I am to truly end the year right I should start with forgiveness.

Tell me the story of your fractured pieces. The person you never became and all the ways in which you let her die.

For all the mistakes and compromises I never would have thought I could do, all of these I have learned to let go, forgive, and ultimately heal myself. Forgiveness is a gift I choose to give myself.

~

As a last hurrah for 2015, here are a few snippets of my life last December. This is the thing about being busy though, your days pass by in a breath. I admit I kept a dismal record of my activities. My days fleeted between going to work, going out with friends, reading books (a total of 3 if memory serves me right). Life happened mainly.

I vow to do a lot better this 2016. I find that it makes me sane to be reminded (through my own writing) that my life is not just a series of comings and goings but a solid, tactile string of events and milestones.



Reading as much as I could fit in 31 days. Also started on my book / life journal. Stay tuned on my next posts or on instagram!



Acquiring books faster than I read them. #booknerdproblems



I spent as much time as I could reconnecting with friends, which I admit I often took for granted. Just being with them, imbibing their energy.



Experiencing art in every form I can. I have recently grown fond of watching ballet shows. I love the energy it emits transforming curious me into an instant fan. Two shows so far, I can't wait till the next show!

Life recently 39

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. This was September and October. Sacrifices had to be made. I have professional and career goals after all. Still it does feel like time wasted because I have nothing to show for except that I lived, breathed, and worked.

Anyway, glad that was over.

Hello November! (｡◕‿‿◕｡)ﾉシ ♫♬♪ ☆彡It really feels like spring after a long bout of winter. Finally some sunshine and color for my soul. I may have overcompensated a bit 'cause now most of my days are fully booked.

1. Hoarding of books is a given. I am currently in the middle of a lot of books thus this book remains half read. I am trying to catch up but slow reader is slow! ヾ(〃￣￣￣￣▽￣￣￣￣〃)ﾉ

2. Is moderately obsessed with Glaiza De Castro's new album. I meant to gift myself one this Christmas. Meanwhile here are samples: Barcelona, Country Tree, Dusk till Dawn. ♫♬♪♫♬♪

I am still kicking myself for missing the QC Film Festival. Where can I watch Sleepless?

3. Came to work looking like a bat. :p I love Halloween.  ~

4. First time seeing a ballet performance. Wow! So much beauty and emotion expressed through human movement. The Nutcracker production by Philippine Ballet Theater at CCP.

5. An afternoon spent prowling the halls of National Museum. Photos on my next post!